


Static

by MayzeMerlo



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anri Doesn't Understand Emotions, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, It's just angst guys, Unhealthy Relationships, no betas we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-19 01:21:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15499137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayzeMerlo/pseuds/MayzeMerlo
Summary: Anri’s life was stagnant without being set. Ikebukuro was bustling with people moving, living their own complex lives, going about their roles in the story of this city while Anri couldn’t even decide where she stood, let alone where she should go.Wherever she stood, Mikado or Kida, would it destroy what already exists? If she chose a side, would that draw a line in the sand? Would it be worth it to just choose?Anri didn’t have the answers, but limbo wasn’t working.





	Static

She wasn’t sure why she chose him.

Maybe it was by chance or maybe some level of her consciousness knew he would be the better option for what she was about to do. After all, he did confess almost ever time she saw him.

Masaomi Kida was nothing if not persistent.

But part of her couldn’t help but think he was trying to fill the same hollow part of himself that she was. That was probably why she stayed as late as she did that night on Sunshine Street with Kida, him prattling off pop culture references while she mapped the profile of his face. He was attractive, she decided. He had ghosts in his eyes and a weight on his shoulders, but his smile made him charming and kind eyes lulled her into relaxing. He was easy to be around. Sharp as a tack but with a tongue that could smooth over the sting he left behind.

Kida was definitely attractive, she just wished she felt _more_ when she looked at his eyes raking over her.

Though, she thought, if she did feel more would it stop the guilt tearing her heart up? If she could just pick, Mikado or Kida, would she feel like less of a harlot, cheating on either boy when she was with the other?

Was that what she should be feeling? Was that her role in life?

She wanted to find out.

“Man, he really doesn’t know what he’s missing. A beautiful night with a gorgeous girl, my life couldn’t get any better! Gotta be careful now Anri-chan or I might fall even more in love with you after tonight.” Kida said, grinning ear to ear. It was rhetoric that spurned Anri on.

“You’re lucky you’ve felt love like that before, Kida. I don’t think I ever have.” She replied and watched as the ghosts clouded over his vision.

Anri should probably feel bad for bringing up something that was obviously haunting him, but she couldn’t. His eyes matched hers now, their empty frames stumbling down the streets made her feel a little less alone and she knew Mikado could never give her this kind of devastation.

Kida was yearning for something she had never felt and all she wanted to know was if filling that void was her role. Maybe it could be, just for tonight.

Anri’s life was stagnant without being set. Ikebukuro was bustling with people moving, living their own complex lives, going about their roles in the story of this city while Anri couldn’t even decide where she stood, let alone where she should go.

Her role used to be as Mika Harima’s complement. Then that went out the window and now she’s trying to find a role, a place to stand.

“They say it’s better to have loved and lost and all that, right?” Kida’s voice was overly cheery, smile a little too wide. “I don’t think I believe that. I’d rather love and keep on lovin’, ya know? There’s just so many pretty girls I don’t know where to start.”

Wherever she stood, Mikado or Kida, would it destroy what already exists? If she chose a side, would that draw a line in the sand? Would it be worth it to just choose?

Anri didn’t have the answers, but limbo wasn’t working.

“You say you love me.” She said to Kida, stopping their casual stroll to face him.

His smile turned a little sour before popping back into place. “Of course, I do, but I can’t just let my love be consumed by one woman! I’ve just got so much love to give, how could I possibly isolate it? It would be tragic, a true loss to the world.”

Anri reached out to touch his arm and he hesitantly followed the motion. She trailed her hand over his sleeve and brushed her fingers against his wrist. Kida was stock still, his arm tense in her hold, but he didn’t move away.

Maybe she never would be able to feel what he had felt, but she could leech off this feeling. She could take his love and fill herself with it just to get a taste.

Her fingers interwove with his and he tightened his grip, face grim.

And if he was just as empty as she was…well, misery loves company.

“Anri, this isn’t a good idea. I’ve got someone waiting for me.” Kida said, his brows scrunched.

“Let me borrow your love then.” Anri said. She stepped towards him, using her grip on his hand to pull him to her, and used her other hand to lightly trace his jaw. A kiss on the cheek was too sweet, she thought, so she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his neck. She waited for a rush to flush its way through her, but it never came.  

Kida stiffened. He backed up from Anri, still holding her hand, but his gaze was calculative, like he was working through a puzzle.

“My apartment is a couple of blocks away.” Kida slowly offers.

Anri nods, and he tugs her hand in a different direction than they were previously walking.

As they walked Anri looked at Kida’s face. He was attractive. He’d saved her from class 1-C’s teacher. He was kind. He was just as hollow as she was.

So then why did the heavy heat of his hand in hers feel like it was weighing on her heart? Why, when she looked at his toffee eyes, did she imagine the hurt that would be in Mikado’s blue ones? Why did she want to shrivel instead of blossom under Kida’s touch?

Now that she’d drawn the line all she wanted to do was erase it.  

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I was just reading the Durarara!! Light Novels and got inspired with this little tragedy. Please be kind, this is the first fan work I've published online before.


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